Sometimes a guy I like will cause me to ignore my personal values. If I really, really like him, sometimes my own opinions go out the window. I have found that is not a good way to live. The last time this happened, I knew I was veering from what I normally do and think. At first, it was freeing, but at the same time I felt uncomfortable hiding who I really am. The relationship did not last very long at all because of that, and I am glad. I want to say that I will never do that again, but I must acknowledge that it is a struggle for me. I feel as if I should not try to engage in any relationship with a guy until I am sure I will be myself and not allow my feelings for him to make me forget who I am and what I believe.

 Nature is intense, unpredictable, self sustaining, constant.
It reminds us who we are away from our hectic, worry filled lives.
It allows us a respite from our busy lives.
It beckons us, tempts us, pulls at us.
It does not pressure us.
Sometimes it can overwhelm, surprise, scare, astonish us.
It is the setting, the background, the subject.
It tells a story for each generation.

I love that nature can calm me down, make me think, and give me a feeling of closer connection to the Creator. My favorite times of year are spring when the air is becoming warmer and the end of summer/beginnin of fall when the heat trades in for cooler days.

My attention is grabbed when I see someone who is sick and hurting. I have a friend who is having all sorts of health issues. I am trying to help her with what I know about healing herbs, but I sense that there is more at heart than her deteriorating health. She needs God.  Before she can become whole, she needs to know her Creator who is able to make her whole. 

Right now God is moving on my heart in a way that I haven't felt for a very long time. He is convicting me of many things and for once I can see clearly all my wrong ways of thinking and the selfish way I have lived for so long. God is urging me to become more like Him, and that is what I like about my life. God is always there even when I have ignored him for so long. He is merciful and is calling me to be the same. He is loving and is calling me to love.

Freedom is having the peace of mind and spirit that this world cannot give us. Success, money, and power, although they may bring a sense of freedom, they do not result in the powerful peace that cannot be shaken. Money, power, and fame can all be taken away in an instant, but true peace is always at our finger tips if we are willing to seek God for it. A wealthy person can be worse off than a slave if he is subject to his desires for worldy things that do not bring peace or joy. On the other hand, a slave can be free if he or she has the peace of God.

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phillippians 4:7)
                                         

The belief that I cannot perform miracles, and the belief that I cannot love unconditionally. The two run hand in hand.

I would like to commit to writing this book that has been bouncing around in my head. I have gotten some characters started and some pages written, but I would like to be able to work on it EVERYDAY, instead of occasionally or whenever I feel like it or if I have nothing else going on.

1) Do you like walks?
Yes, I love to take walks, but I don't take enough of them. Yesterday I took my little brother for a walk, but it got cut short because he fell and hurt his knee.

2) Do you enjoy dancing? (if yes, what kind?)
I love dancing especially with my sister. We don' do any particular kind of dance though. We just make up our own moves.

3) What's your favorite thing to do for exercise?
Kickboxing.

4) What activities do you like to do outdoors?
I like to walk, go to the park, sit outside on a blanket and read or write, play games with my brother and sister.

5) How does the sunshine make you feel?
Very peaceful and happy. It makes me feel like just being in the moment.

I can play the guitar, but if I could play another instrument, I would choose the violin.
When I was 8 years old my parents gave me a violin for christmas. However, I don't know why because they never arranged for me to have lessons. I guess I didn't want to play the violin that badly or I would have been begging them to find me a teacher. However I did play the piano, starting lessons at age six. Around fifth grade, I decided I did not want to play the piano anymore, so I stopped. Then when I was around 14 years old, I begged my dad to teach me how to play the guitar. He didn't want to at first, but I kept pestering him so he finally gave in. I stuck with it, and now I can play well, although I have never delved into the more fancy realm of guitar playing that could classify me as a pro. Its still not too late to learn though...

Currently, my favorite 15 minutes of the day are when I sit outside on the deck in the morning at around 9:00. The deck faces the East and I like to watch and feel the sun as it rises higher.